Should Have Saids
by Dixie Dewdrop's Graceland
Summary: Paul leads the Graceland team in confiding what they admire and respect about one another.


Should Have Saids

Paul Briggs leaned back against the boulder and stretched his long legs across the beach sand. His roommates flanked him around the fire, each leaning against a rock face and seated in the sand. The agents had fallen silent the past hour as they watched the flames of their bonfire transform from high and crackling to calm and warm.

Paul studied the familiar faces in the glow of the firelight and his expression softened. He shared a bond with each, a unique relationship with them individually and collectively. He spoke suddenly, interrupting the peaceful contemplation shared during such a beautiful beach night.

"Team, the past couple of days I have spent time reflecting over my own actions in the past days and weeks, and sitting here tonight it struck me that we owe each other no regrets."

Paige frowned, "No regrets? Regrets about what?"

"Like if we leave?" Johnny kicked at an ember in the fire.

Paul clarified, "The should have saids, that is where my mind is. If something happened tomorrow, if Graceland burned and we all went separate ways, what would we say to each other before we walked away?"

Mike nodded thoughtfully, following Paul's line of reasoning.

Paul confirmed, "Right, instead of regretting down the road that we failed to tell someone else what we admired, why not share our thoughts right now?" Paul allowed his gaze to travel from one to another and waited.

"Let's do it," Charlie agreed. "We deserve to celebrate each other."

"May I start?" Mike consulted Paul.

Paul spread his arms, "Go for it, Agent Warren."

Mike licked his lips before smiling shyly at the group. "I know that I'm the newest member of Graceland and that at times you have questioned my own motives. I deserve that suspicion, and the past couple of years with you I have started to slowly pull away from jumping to snap character judgments like I used to do."

He grinned self-consciously before turning to Paige. "Paige Arkin, in my lifetime I have never encountered anyone with such single minded determination as you."

Paige opened her mouth to protest and he hurried to reassure her. "No, that determination is something I will always admire. When you believe in something you give it every fiber of your being. You are incredible. My dream is still that one day that determination will come back to the us of you and me."

Paige regarded him thoughtfully.

Their roommates didn't interrupt and didn't pretend Mike's words were confusing. They understood his declaration.

Mike shifted his focus and leaned forward to regard Johnny. "Until I moved here with you I never understood what charming meant, but you, Johnny, are hands down the master of charm." Johnny batted his lashes coyly and they all laughed with delight.

Mike finished, "You can talk your way in and out of any situation whipping out that charm."

Paige leaned over and patted Johnny's cheek.

"Next," Mike continued, focusing upon Charlie. "I love that aggressive side you have, Charlie, that attitude that no one has been born yet who could destroy your game plan."

Paige offered, "Awwww…that's too sweet."

Charlie met Mike's gaze. "Thank you Mikey."

"As for you, Jakes, for a long time I had no clue at all of how to get a grip on you. But tonight I want to say that one day I hope I will have that backbone of loyalty you have. You fight a good fight and you fight for yours."

Mike licked his lips and stared straight into Paul's eyes. "Paul Briggs, saying anything will be saying too little. No matter what is spoken it can never reflect what I see in you."

Johnny started to interrupt but Mike held up a hand. "Let me finish. Paul, you have been an incredible teacher, and I am more grateful than you will ever know that cards played so that I was sent to Graceland and you mentored me. I am proud to have been your protégé. Hell, let's be honest because I still have so much to learn. I am proud to continue to be your protégé."

Mike tilted his head to the side and Paul replied quietly, "You're welcome."

Jakes shifted so that he sat crosslegged. "Let me go before all of you start boohooing or sniveling or something."

That elicited an explosion of laughter and Jakes waited for them to calm before he commenced. "Ok, I'll start with you, Warren. What I want to say is that I admire that way you have of balancing your work life and your personal life. I have a really hard time with that. I either go full force on the job or full force not doing my job."

The last was murmured a bit sheepishly and the others recognized the sincerity. Dale continued, "Charlie, you possess this ambitious streak that steers your focus. I mean you make up your mind what you want and then go after it full steam- every day- all day."

"True," Paige agreed. "She does."

"Briggs," Jakes faced the group's leader. "Man, I owe you for so many times and for so many reasons but what I respect about you the most is that you're a peacemaker. When people first meet you they would never say that, but honestly, you work really hard to make Graceland run despite the fact that all six of us operate under our own agendas."

The others glanced at Paul, surprised but in agreement.

"Now to Paige, and lady, you possess the strongest sense of self I have ever encountered. You believe in yourself in a way that I have never been able to do. That strength is so you." Jakes rubbed his mouth. "Johnny, no matter what I have ever implied you are very important to me and I don't think I have ever met anyone as genuinely thoughtful as you are. You're a good man, Johnny, and despite my fight to protect myself by avoiding emotional risks you have managed to squirm your way into my life. And now I'm proud to call you my friend."

Delighted at the admission Johnny motioned teasingly, "Let's hug!"

The others burst into gales of laughter at Dale's responsive scowl. "Stay over there, Johnny!"

Charlie raised a hand and announced, "My turn next." When no one objected she turned so that she could face Paul. "Paul Briggs, we both know that my worst fault is hanging onto things when I need to let them go. Yet I want to tell you that I have always forgiven you and will always forgive you. I let go a long time ago. You're my best friend, Paul, my hot, handsome love, and the only man I want to father my children."

Charlie's eyes filled and she paused. Paul reached over and took her hand, interlacing his fingers with hers. "Don't give up on me Paul," she directed in a whisper.

No one spoke while she gathered control of her emotions. Finally she scooted so that she rested completely against his chest. "I'm ready now. Paige, your generosity has always made me work harder to deepen my own. You give so much of yourself and you do it with no thought of anything in return. Mike, your skill at diplomacy will continue to bring you rewards. Never lose that great talent."

Charlie took a deep breath. "Dale, of all the qualities that make you the wonderful Jakes I know, your adaptability is what impresses me the most. It doesn't matter what is happening and where, you have the ability to convincingly switch roles or tactics in a moment's notice."

She stopped and sat up straight.

Johnny clapped noisily. "Whoa, Chuck, what about me?"

Charlie blew him a kiss. "I saved you for last. You, Johnny Turturro, have the gift of always going straight for that silver lining, that positive spin on life no matter how dark and bad things have gotten. You have rallied us over the years and pulled us away from wallowing in defeat."

Johnny leaned across Paul and kissed her cheek. "You're the silver lining, Chuck."

Paige spoke next. "I'm ready for my turn, and I want to start with Mike." She met Mike's gaze. "What you said earlier about me – well, what I admire most about you is your drive for justice. When you see a wrong committed you try to right it. So letting me see that you see my wrong to you is righted- thank you. We all know I react emotionally even when it hurts me, but Mike, if you really want that determination towards us, I think I can give it now."

The audience glanced from Paige to Mike, who smiled slowly at the admission.

Paige continued, "And Charlie, maybe because I am so ruled by emotion I wish I had your practical approach to life. You manage to put your feelings to the side and think seriously and I would give anything to have that level headed response. Paul, your spirituality strengthens you, and I will never be able to think of you without that part of you. You have such a respect for not only your beliefs, but a genuine empathy for the spirituality of others. As aggressive as you can be, your foundation is cemented within your spiritual outlook."

Paige pointed to Johnny, then to Jakes. "Johnny, I hope you always show that tender heart of yours because it is incredible. Dale, I wish I had half of your creativity. You come up with ideas and solutions while I'm still trying to understand the problem. You two have been good for me."

"My turn," Johnny pulled the hood of his sweatshirt down and ran his hand across his stubby hair. "Charlie and Paul, you are the mama bear and papa bear of Graceland and that has shaped all of us, individually and as a pseudo family. I have needed that guidance- your guidance. It's no secret that I lack confidence in adopting any leadership roles but I think that we can all agree I am getting better just by watching the way the two of you act. You are good role models."

He rubbed his palms across his jeans before continuing. "Paige, I need to learn to be flexible like you are. It doesn't matter what knocks you down but you just jump up and take a different path. You have incredible strength and willpower. Jakes you won't ever believe this, but your protective streak is the aptitude which makes you stand out as a human. You are just fierce towards looking out for those you love and you do it without expecting any protection in return."

Johnny licked his lips. "Mike, I didn't really think you'd make it at first but you stuck it out and I am glad. I wish I had your composure because you have a really disciplined reaction when you want, able to keep your cool and sail through without a problem."

Johnny glanced around at the roommates surrounding him. "Thank you for making us more than six agents sharing the same house."

Paul waited nearly a full minute before he added his own thoughts and observations. "Wow, I really don't think anything I say will be able to do justice to what I actually feel but I will certainly try." He smiled a bit shyly and then pulled Charlie so that he could rub his hand along her cheek. "Catherine Demarco my heart belongs to you, not just because you are smoking ass hot as I've said before, but because you made me surrender my heart to you, something I never imagined doing again. You are my hero, my confidante, my sweet thing, my stabilizer and my dream. You are irreplaceable and the reason I want to be alive." Unable to resist, Paul cupped Charlie's face in his hands and kissed her gently.

The others looked from one to another and hid grins.

Paul slung an arm around Charlie and directed their roommates, "You can get rid of those smug looks."

Everyone laughed then, and Paul waited for a lull before proceeding. "Mikey Mike, as a teacher you are the student who has never let me down. You have gone beyond what I can show you and in fact, have reinstated my personal focus. Agent Warren you keep your eyes on your vision. I looked away with mine."

Mike nodded.

"DJ," Paul turned to address him. "You and I go back years and years and I believe you are the most empathetic human I have ever known. I hope to be more like you more often, and for more reasons than I express. You are a good man."

"So are you, Paul," Dale insisted.

Paul rubbed his chin. "Paige, honey, I hope you never lose that drive to get in there and fight for the underdog. With your devotion to making yourself a voice for the voiceless the world is a better place. Don't ever question your power."

Paige glanced up and smiled before wiping at her lashes.

Paul turned to Johnny. "JT, my man, what can I ever say about someone who's got all the goods? You're handsome as hell, the ladies love you, you ooze personality and charm and have a great sense of humor. You have skill and talent you refuse to acknowledge, but I can, and John Boy, you are a superstar."

Johnny bit the side of his lip and shook his head.

Paul rose stiffly to his feet and motioned in the direction of Graceland before he concluded. "Let's head back to the house now."

The others stood as well but remained waiting for Paul to lead.

Paul crossed his arms across his chest. "No matter where we go, what we do, or even if we completely lose touch with one another we have created a family in our time together. That will never disappear entirely. We'll always take pieces of each other with us but we need to travel forward knowing we told each other what we admire in each. No should have saids, but instead we have devoted the time in the present to explain the unbreakable bonds shared by us, by our merry band of misfits."

Paul kicked sand on the last of the embers and watched the glow dim before pulling Charlie to his side. He kissed the top of her head. "Let's go home to Graceland."


End file.
